Faisal Shoaib

I think in circles

waiting for miracles

Nothing happens but time elapses

Why do we fight so much?

Why do you cry so often?

Can’t you not let it go?

Have fun with within ourselves

and shut the world outside

Get in within and open your eyes to my soul.

Get lost in my depth.

It only makes sense
when you don’t say it
the silence speaks louder
than the morning bird chirps
The things you have mentioned
I am still taking my time to digest
I wonder how I will ever be
The one you want me to be
You have asked me to be someone
That is hard and rigid for me.
It will change who I am,
So I wonder how to be?
In my thoughts I ponder
But in the mean time
I let you be,
In solitude I stand
And I hope you are not gone,
I hope you are always there
Like you promised to be.

You are a doll in the showcase of my heart

like a precious treasure, i hold you dear

for better or worse, i will never tear

this bond of togetherness

far and near

I love to see the moon at night

and drop my stare

thinking about you

how you were

for all I care I want you near

close to my heart as

I think its only fair

Because my dear

I love you much

for all I care.

Apartments & moving!
We have all done that in some part of our lives. Moving can always be an exciting and enthralling thing as well as a pain. I mean I would be excited to get to see new neighbors, experience new environments and get into new mischiefs. I am surely going to miss the present folks in my complex, clouds of smoke from their cigar breaks  and their obnoxious dogs barking all the time. Once, one lives in a place for a period of extended time, we can imagine the amount of stuff we get to accumulate. I have lived in my complex for few years now. I changed apartments within the same complex during 2009 and I realized that all the stuffs I had to drag across from one building to another and was surely no fun. With that thought in mind, I despise moving, it’s one of those things that you know that you will have to do, but you never really want to do. When I started boxing my stuffs, I realized how many different types of computer cables I own. I have put together micro usbs, mini usb, tsr connectors, firewires, CAT5s, VGAs, HDMIs, Displayports and there are some more. I had no idea how in the world I accumulated so much wires. (If you need any just holler). Some of my boxes are going in the storage this time. My procrastination hasn’t allowed much time for me to sort out the stuffs the way I wanted. So some of these boxes can wait and collect dust at the storage. //UPDATE// I didn’t finish this post when I started it, I thought I would write this post along my moving process. I have finally moved out of my apartment and I no longer live there. I think I am going through a mental detox, the idea of not having my own place. I think his will bring about some new changes, maybe good or not we shall see. So I have collected the keys to my new place but I haven’t spend any night there yet.  I have been in Dallas with my friends. I have yet to spend the first night at my new place and I believe tonight will be my first.

I ate her heart for lunch

Chewing it slowly

As I could not abide

Someone else eating it.

As the blood ran across my chin

I tasted, savored and masticated,

While the heart continued to beat.

Her heartbeats I carry inside,

crazy beautiful, sensual

I now contain,

The flow of her blood seamlessly,

Passing through my neck

Dancing down my spine.

Grinding my teeth

Frowning my face

I start to feel the inevitable

The heart stands firm even in pieces.

Inside my ears I hear

The pieces of the heart roar

Getting louder by the minute with rage,

The noise breaks apart my cells

and I become weary.

As my body fragments

I understand to surrender

She never belonged in me.

In the midst of things

I am looking for you to please

Everything seems to cease

Heart ache this is,

Come and hold me miss

So I can feel the bliss.

As you dwell in the darkness

You start to swell with anger

Thinking how you got there in the first place

But its hard to remember

Life has been on a rollercoaster for ya

Things have been cold and grey

But you want everything to sway away

You want to break apart

From everything that has been falling apart

To a much beautiful place

You do not understand

You cannot seem to figure out

What things has been going around

You need to chill out

Hence let your self out

But once you step out

And look at the clouds up

You realize that your soul is the only thing that remains.

Death has set you free,

Forever shall you be, fly around carefree.

In despite of things, the phone rings
you are a glimpse of happenings
wretched life, hard to please
from angels to devils, mix me in please
i saw the knife, sharp n thin
hold it in,
but i never thought
you would stab me in.
I bleed for now,
have a happy grin.

I have been dead baby for far too long

but now i feel, far too much

you are so bright that its hard to see

but i know it feels right just to be

let myself go, at what it is

dont know how i am going to be

but i know you are holding me, my love.

in silent peace, i come to thee, forever shall i be, yours.